My Balls Feel Like Concrete

"When you die, you’re going to regret the things you don’t do. You think you’re queer? I’m going to tell you something. We’re all queer. You think you’re a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality. Get shut of it. Shut it out. When you cheat on your wife, you did it. Live with it. You fuck little girls? So be it. There’s an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead. Be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don’t think so. You think that? Act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won’t live in it. That’s me….

"Great meals fade in reflection. Everything else gains. Do you know why? Because it’s only food, this shit we put in us. It keeps us going. It’s only food. The great fucks you may have had, what do you remember about them?…it’s probably not the orgasm. Some broad’s forearm on your neck. Something her eyes did. There was this sound she made….I’m in bed the next day. She brought me cafe au lait, gives me a cigarette. My balls feel like concrete. What I’m saying, what is our life?

"Our life is looking forward or it’s looking back. That’s it. That’s our life. Where’s the moment? And what is it we’re so afraid of? Loss. What else? The bank closes? We get sick? My wife died on a plane? The stock market collapsed? What of these things happen? None of them. We worry anyway. Why?"

It may or may not matter that in this scene, he’s not being entirely genuine. He’s a salesman. It’s his job. He’s just trying to sell real estate.

The character, I mean, not the actor himself. Or maybe both. Al Pacino wasn’t being genuine either. He’s an actor. It’s his job. He’s just trying to sell the role.

Was David Mamet being genuine when he wrote the scene? He’s a writer. It’s his job. Was he just trying to sell the story?

Would anybody give a speech like this if they weren’t trying to sell something?

"You try to stave off insecurity. You can’t. Stocks, bonds, objects of art, real estate - what are they? An opportunity. To what? To make money? Perhaps. To lose money? Perhaps. To indulge and to learn about ourselves? Perhaps. So fucking what? What is it? They’re an opportunity. That’s all they are….

"What does this mean? What do you want it to mean?"


Posted: Wednesday January 16th with 5 notes
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